Alive Again

Falling into a spiraling black hole called home, sucked into the negativity, the hate, the pettiness of small-minded thinking, trapped in the chains of survival, in the clutches of Mother Nature's wrath, frightened by the black suspense of a growing maze, branching, branching, branching, branching out into more darkness. The problem ever expanding, the resolve small, the question is survival. What happens when you don't survive? You die. Caught in the negativity. Who was Rene Descartes? You think therefore you are? Praying for truth in words; remembering that God built life with words. Begging for your God, my God, our God to save us from the wretchedness of death--that not being its inevitable arrival, rather being the difficulty viewing one's path to death in a brighter light. Are you afraid to die? We all die. We will all die. Wishes for mortality are fool's follies drenched in black, drenched in blindness. Please open my eyes Lord, and save me from this shadow that encompasses my whole self, this shadow that says that there is no where to run, no where to hide. Or rather...let me accept the dark. Let me run through the corridors of time with light in my heart and not in my hands. Where is the world I cried for? The world of whose problems I pleaded to take away? Below me. Before me. All around me. In me, my heart, my breath. I want to breathe again. I want to see reason in living this petty life again. Social institutions, congregations of people gathered to gather but not to act, the emptiness within familiar many's battling the feeling of nothing, the fear of nothing contrasting the fact that we know nothing, the absence of truth masking the true facade that in life there is no true certainty but there is faith in what we believe may be true. I need to live again. I need to breathe again. I need to feel like I'm adding positivity, adding good, adding worth to the lives of those around me that give me reasons to live. Live again; I will live again, I will live again, I live again. I'M ALIVE AGAIN.