Blue Moon Poems

trudging the brink
by r. reyes, 2/10/08

trudging through oceans with my head above the water
sometimes with just exactly enough touching the surface
for myself to breathe
my feet hardly ever being able to touch the seafloor
propping myself up with my toes
I push myself up when I fall beneath the surface
those times when I'm entirely immersed into the ocean
those times, sometimes, few times
I let myself fall beneath ths surface
and choose not to jump above into the open air
just so that I could open my eyes while underwater
and look up at the sunlight or starlight through blueblack lenses
some of them who trudge the brink with me
slither down into the sea where the water's warm
and the skylight gleams with ethereal magic
they bask in the comfort of the undercurrent
but then they forget to come back up again
to breathe
and so they stay there
until they bob and sway
I hope I never forget to breathe
then again, the better solution is to learn how to swim

Strange Feeling

Lately I've been overcome by the strangest feeling... Suddenly, a part of me feels like staying on Saipan, or coming back home. After the past few days of Youth Congress meetings I've been harassed by an overwhelming feeling of commitment to Saipan...the CNMI. I feel as though there is so much I can contribute, given I had enough time. I don't have enough time. Maybe that's what makes me feel as though I should stay. Maybe it's a feeling of "unfinished" business. I need to go the States for college. I want to go to the States for college. I want a college degree from a United States college. It's as simple as that. I guess I'm going to have to sacrifice being away...letting my ideas accumulate and develop with my resume before I initiate my own process of contributing to our society. I need to learn the basics and polish myself like a great finish on some mahogany wood. I need to see the world. I need to learn. I need to meet new people and see new places. I need to delve into the uncomfortable. I need all that before I decide to settle down in one place. I need to spread my roots elsewhere--in places I don't call home. I need that.

Ok. :)

I feel better, now. :D