At The Moment

I am 60% happy, 10% sad, 10% angry, 5% frustrated, and 5% tired out. [Did you know that if you switch the places of "i" and "r" in "tired" you get "tried"? I just realized that. lol] The remaining 10% in undeterminable at the moment.

Let me start from the latter-most and move into the former.

And before that, let me take a deep breath.

Okay.

I am 5% tired out because I've had too many serious thoughts lately. I mean, cmon, take a look at my last blog entry; what the heck was I thinking? lol. Life deserves its stupid moments, moments unbridled by solemn thoughts and filled with random actions. I think it makes one breathe easier and die happier.

I am 5% frustrated because I was at Java Joe's typing that last blog entry, and Henry, if you're reading this, that was after you left. Well, at JJoes, typing, and I was just about finished when my time expired on the net and it really frustrated me because I know that if I had just another minute then I couldv'e gotten the rest of what I wrote saved and published and I could move on to the next blog when time befits it. It's not too much of a burden though because I saved the rest of it on MWord. The other reason why I am frustrated is because a certain somebody is frustrated that I'm on the pc right now when that certain somebody has been on it all day today playing some online game that has no similarity to my school-related necessity of why I need the pc; and I know that sounds kinda selfish, but it is sensible--and besides that certain somebody has been doing the same all this week, same game, long hours. RAWR. RAWHAWHAWR. RAWHAWR.

Now the last percentage intertwines with this next one.

I am 10% angry because after coming home from church today that certain somebody was still on the pc playing the same game (but that's not what angered me). What angered me was that, when I saw this I thought "You know what, I have no time to be angry with him. I'll just borrow his laptop (being that mine is baroque) and hook it up to the telephone line". And so I approached the certain somebody and said, "Hey, can I hook up your laptop to the telephone line, I need to use the net?", he glances at me and then back to the pc monitor and says "K". And I'm telling you, it wasn't one of those jolly or nonchalant "K"s it was one of the "I'm gonna smite you; here me smite you"-"K"s. Rrr...I wallow in anger... (and strangely feel the urge to type "lol")... But Rrr... SO. I neatly remove his laptop from the carrying case. Neatly place it on the steps by the phone, neatly remove the neatly stowed mouse that I neatly stowed earlier that day, gracefully set up the laptop and insert the phone line into the input whatever thing on the side of the thing. I wait for it to start up and then go to network and internet connections to set up the dial-up and that whole fajita. In this attempt I keep trying to set up the dial-up with the phone numbers and user names and all like I've done countless time with my now-lemon-laptop, my mom notices my frustration, and she asks my brother about the connection and he says "My laptop doesn't work with dial-up". And I'm thinking "Wtf. You could've told me that when I asked you if I could connect it to the phone line." Ooohoohoohooohoo.... This is not the state of mind you want to be in when you just get back from church.... lol.

Another breath. Okay.

10% sad. The sadness part is really rather simple. I am sad because my laptop has left me to live in that mystical floating Silicon Valley in the sky (NOT in Californication). (That last word was a bad combination, lol, sorry.) I am also sad because I feel like I'm still uncertain of what I want to do with my life. I tell people that I'm planning to go into law, but a part me is really saying "no. no. not law. not law. no." I feel somewhat lost because random people and people older than me and friends, they approach me telling me of the great future ahead of me and all that, but I'm still uncertain. Anyway, moving on.

I AM 60% HAPPY! because... after the certain somebody said that his laptop don't do no dial-up, our mom told him to get off the pc and let me use it (meaning to say that theres a possibility that I won't have to stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning again doing homework or research or procrastinating because I couldn't do that earlier). I even told him "You should have told me that it doesn't work with dial-up" but he didn't say anything in reply. lol. Ai adai, si Kuya. One day I'll be compelled to smack him on the back of his head. Just. I think he'll smack me back and it'll hurt more for me. lol. I am also happy because when it comes to this uncertainty of mine, I know that regardless of whether or not I live my life aiming and hitting set goals and aspirations like a clean-cut diamond of a focused jeweler, I will always know that there will be options around me that I can choose to gear me towards these said-goals, and if any, I'm not afraid of changing my life plan. It's like business: a successful businessman follows the trends and isn't afraid of taking the risk he sees are worth taking. I'm not afraid of living my life as it goes. Which reminds me...

The last undeterminable 10%... haha... This correlates to living my life as it goes... I want to leave that 10% open for whatever coincidence or circumstance hits me after I post this blog. The night is not over yet. And a random thought! Have you noticed that lately the moon has been full?! (Lulu, I think you'll enjoy this.) WELL, lol, there's a belief that when one looks upon a full moon and allows the light to engulf the surface of his eyes, he is bound for love or bound to fall in love or..something like that; but isn't that sweet?! lol. aaw... I would like to do more shtuff on nights where the moon is full... Easter vigil usually falls on a night where the moon is full... What if I got married on a night with a full moon? Or honeymoon? Oh, lol, personal. Ok. What if... I don't know.. Two nights ago, the moon was full and conspicuously low, so I grabbed my sister's digcamera and ran up the stairs of King's Plaza and up to roof top past the rebars that protrude off the cement and ran over to the edge of the building and took a picture. I wanted to take a pic while it's light outline the clouds but I was too late. lol. That was fun, though, I'll try to find that picture.

Ok. :P I'm going to post this and get to work now. Gnight folks! Or. It's 11:57 right now. So. Almost good morning, too!

-Rach